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The horror. The embarrassment.  The feeling of being the laughing stock. From outstanding to not standing. At all.  I always try not to use clichés when I speak or write, but I’m very tempted to use the sentence “I almost died…”

For the last three weeks I’ve been following a course with some amazing people, and two days ago we went out of the classroom and had a day out. We strolled in an aria that is famous for the vast beaches of round stones, and it was a great experience. We had a bonfire and made lunch, and we spent some beautiful hours. The weather was so nice, fall season at its best, sun from clear blue sky and no wind. We were sitting around the fire, laughing and talking, and I read them two of my poems from my upcoming book. This was the first time I’ve shared poems from the book with anybody, except my publisher, and I got quite nervous about it. Their response was very positive and encouraging, and I felt both relieved and a bit proud…

This should be the entire history! I got to read my poems and got positive response.

Unfortunately for me, I got the chance to share yet another side of myself: The clumsy one.

On our way back I fell a little behind. This was due to two separate causes, one:  I walked slowly because I was admiring the great view of the vast sea; it was like a blue sea of sparkling diamonds. Two: I found it hard to walk on all the round stones on the beach, and it went on for ever. After some struggling minutes, I realized that everybody was waiting for me. They had stopped, and they were all looking back to see if I was soon to be joining them.

That’s when it happened. I fell. I fell flat on my face. My knee hurt, my hand hurt, I was on my way to burst into tears, and I felt like vomiting.

What did I do? I got right back up, said I was ok, and then I stared out on the horizon of the sea. Wishing they go away, both my pains and my fellow tour trackers. Of course, neither did.

I was so embarrassed. Wanting to laugh it off, feeling like crying and hiding. I finally caught up with them, and we continued. My hand felt like it should explode, and my leg was barely carrying me, but I continued. I didn’t know where to keep my eyes.  My fellow trackers were too polite to laugh straight to my face, but my fall must have been a ridiculous sight.

Mortified, all I wanted was to get away from the embarrassing moment.  We walked about four km after my fall, and I have to admit, they were painful.

Not as painful as the ride home, though. I drove with one hand, and I know I kept the conversation going, but I’ve got no idea of the current topics. Arriving home, I got out of my car in a not-so-ladylike-manner, due to the stiffness in my knee. I spent the rest of the day and evening with my leg up high, and now it exposes the map of the world, painted in colours from bright blue, dark green and purple.

My hand is swollen, fingers stiff, and painted in a greenish colour with dark blue spots.

The fall definitively makes the top five list of most embarrassing moments in my life. Definitively! I went from being outstanding to not be standing! That’s what happens when you fall flat on your face.