Dear little mouse hiding under my bed: I’m here to help you! I realize that the last hours events have been traumatic and left you utterly clueless, but all the things I’ve done has been to help you! I hope that you can realize that, my little friend. And I also hope you can realize that it is now two o’clock in the morning, and I am tired. Not that you aren’t exhausted, you’ll have to be!
Listen to me: If you lift your tiny little nose you will feel a cool drag of fresh air. This is because my garden door is wide open, so it is just for you to run out to freedom … If you think that I have made a lot of noise these past hours, this is true. I have pushed the bed around and chairs and other items in my bedroom. These actions have just been to provide you a free way out to the garden and your freedom. I realize that my first actions, the attempt to chase you into a plastic bag with my brush, might not have seemed so helpful!
But I can assure you that the huge grey beast, who jumped from the garden fence and used the dish as a springboard to get into the room with you flop alive in mouth, yes, you surely remember him, he is now in the kitchen eating his way true an amount of tuna, along with his brother. Yes he is almost equally massive, and he follows his brother around.
I have locked the bedroom door, so they will not enter here, so if you could be so kind to leave?
Not that you are not welcome here, it is just not the best place for you to stay. Maybe you could take advantage of this information that they both are busy to take a trip across the floor and run to freedom? It starts to become relatively cold having the door open like that… we are writing September on the calendar, you know. Not that I’m going to complain, you have that privilege tonight! I can’t answer for why Bajas ran straight to the stairs and let go of you, with the result that you fell down an entire floor. But if we disregard the mental stress, are you actually status que is that you will survive all this! So if you now quietly could come forward and quickly run outside you would be safe. And I could close the door and get to bed! Imagine the story you have to share with your family! You are going to be today’s most talked about in your entire world!